


you turned around

by culticmyexecution



Category: VIXX
Genre: Cheese, First Kiss, M/M, Reflection, Romance, Unresolved Romantic Tension, i'm sorry it's cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 23:49:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7822033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/culticmyexecution/pseuds/culticmyexecution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d never muster enough courage to confess it had recently become easier to even breathe with Wonshik around, leave aside any actual activity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you turned around

          The studio was empty at such an hour, which was quite a relief, for there was a lot of work to be done, and Taekwoon didn't want to be interrupted. It still felt peculiar for him to do something totally on his own. Well, not _totally_ , as there was a person beside him who in fact had thought the project through and was the second person to take part in the performance. Still, not being a part of a bunch of people each of whom had an equal part in the business made a warm mass grow somewhere inside him, close to the lungs but a little bit higher. There was a change in the order of things, the role he had been used to shifting into something entirely new. He could sense that working in a sub-unit would bring novelty.

          The warmth in his chest made him squint.

_‘Poor justification, you know.’_

   

          He turned a wall lamp on, leaving the ceiling lights out, and sat at the piano, affording himself a minute of reflection as he lifted the lid and straightened his spine. He adored the studio piano for its modest design and its sound that — maybe it was just autosuggestion — was unique in a way. He wondered how he hadn't noticed that uniqueness before his first rehearsal of ‘Beautiful Liar’, with Wonshik sitting in the corner, sipping some frappé, smiling fondly, and making occasional remarks.

          The day before Taekwoon spent on trying various _ways_ of playing, for just sitting with his spine straight as a ruler didn't seem appropriate. There had to be dynamics, he couldn't look like he was performing at a music lesson, but should have filled his interaction with piano with sensation.

   

          The keys of the instrument were lustrous in the dim light, black and white contrasting, reminding of what Ravi had told him about the video they were going to shoot; about one of the scenes, to be precise. Playing the piano in akin dim light, wind being ferocious; him confronting another side of a personality, and, according to Ravi, that had to be a rather feverish conflict.

          That had sent a few crawls down Taekwoon's spine.

          It wasn't that he was afraid of showing his emotions, or acting, or anything related. He just couldn't tell if he was sure he would succeed at being persuasive. After all, wearing a — what people call it when avoid being rude — straight face for his entire life has made him now reluctant whether he was capable of explaining the thoughts of his character so that the viewers would believe. He wasn't lack of senses, not at all, but of expressing them he had always been a bit awkward. That had been quite a problem occasionally; there had been questions whether he was feeling fine, or ones asked by his contemporaries in an insulted tone about why he had looked so arrogant. It didn't happen often, but every now and then people saw apparently a kind of mask, like the white ones they used in European theatres, instead of his face. It was upsetting as a child; people thought him rude as an adolescent.

          A little less expression and they start to think you are haughty.

   

          He touched the key of the piano, enjoying the high-pitched sound, as if the instrument was hurt. Then the sound came again, the middle finger tenderly harassing the key, and after a few repetitions the ring finger joined, playing two tunes; eventually Taekwoon simply started plunking away, mesmerised by the sounds of some western banal opus, smiling faintly.

          He had to find the right mood for his first practice, he thought, as it would probably be easier to concentrate on what his ‘character’ felt. Improvisation or playing some pieces by memory wouldn’t be enough. He stood up and left the studio; it was abnormally quiet in the hall where the diodes on the ceiling lit the space as if day and night. He approached the shelves and looked through them briskly. Some Kreisler would suit, he had decided.

          ‘Hey,’ was the voice from his left, and Taekwoon turned only to see Ravi standing in the doorway, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, and looking as if he had just woken up, so cozily scruffy it made Leo smile with his eyes as a greeting. ‘Why are you here?’

          ‘I may actually ask you the same,’ he turned back and reached for a music book, but after a moment of hesitation left it in its place and glanced at Ravi again. ‘It's six in the morning, you know.’

          ‘And it's an official day off. Right. So?’

          ‘I, uh, thought about having some practice,’ Taekwoon answered quietly, rubbing the back of his neck, before coming back to the studio.

          ‘Vocals or playing?’ Wonshik followed him. He looked around quickly, as if trying to catch whatever new detail that could have appeared after Leo’s god knows how much time on his own there. He came to a conclusion that nothing had changed, elbowing the piano and smiling.

          Leo looked up at him and frowned slightly for a second, unsure of what to say. ‘Both. Maybe. Some piano for certain, and about singing I haven't yet made up my mind. If no one came until like eight o'clock I would've, but now it's an open question,’ he sat at the piano again, relaxing a bit. ‘Not that I mean to offend you, of course,’ he added.

          ‘Why, are you suddenly uncomfortable with singing solo before audience? Haven't you done this like a hundred times?’

          ‘For a long time—not really. The shower doesn't count.’

          Ravi laughed at the joke whether the latter phrase was such or not. ‘I see.’

          ‘But it's not really about singing before audience, it is… _representation_ , if you get what I mean.’

          ‘Uh-huh,’ he voiced, grinning thoughtfully, and shifted aside, his fingers sorting the leaflets on the table nearby. ‘Well, move then. Go, go, don't stare at me. Shoo,’ he sat close to Leo and put the found music book at the stand. ‘I hope this is what you've wanted to master.’

          ‘Get lost,’ Taekwoon muttered, fidgeting, his lips however curling up in a smile at how easy he was for Wonshik to read.

          ‘You don't really have to play it on stage, so let me help you here,’ Ravi said with enthusiasm, placing his hands above the keys. ‘I can play that for you. Just a bit slower, if you don't mind.’

          ‘Why even do that?’

          ‘Taekwoonie, we want this to be a great release, right? It's better if we practice together, even though it’s not my duty to play the piano in this track, so that we won't feel awkward and will know our strengths and weaknesses even better than we do at the moment. By practicing together, we both win.’

 

          He touched the keys gently, playing the first few beats, and then paused. Leo sighed and stared at the sheet, waiting. ‘Fine. But at first, um, I’d like to try the title song. We haven’t yet practised it together. And that one I do have to play.’

          Ravi had pondered that for a moment before turning the pages of the music book, rising and stepping behind Leo, speaking during his movements. ‘Ah, of course. Let's go then.’

          Leo started, his voice as if covered with a thick film of awkwardness, his fingers though moving unhesitatingly, having learned the melody before, but before he could finish the fourth line he stopped and swore under his breath.

          ‘What's wrong? There was no mistake, I believe,’ he rested his palms on Taekwoon's shoulders in attempt to put him at ease.

          ‘I… frankly, I don't really like how my voice sounded in the beginning. I'll try a bit higher, just… just give me a moment.’

          He sang again, and as though by magic no trace of initial nervousness or shyness remained, his voice high, clear, and strong. He was followed a few seconds later by Wonshik, the indexes of whom were drumming the rhythm on Leo's shoulders. They went on that way, both well knowing the melody but lacking such joined practice a bit.

 

          At the very beginning, they both had not been sure if their duo was harmonically organised or if everything had to be revised in the last moment. Although, during a long moment of their voices now echoing each other, just before the desperate ‘ _tteona_ ’ of Taekwoon, the latter had acknowledged they fit each other impeccably, like the two lost pieces of a mosaic. He didn't know if this was mutual, but at least dared hope so, for with the other’s constant presence it felt _so_ _much_ easier to work, as though Ravi was a tailor-made support for him; their occasional brainstorming was just another reason to startle at how natural it all seemed to Leo to create something—anything with him.

          He’d never muster enough courage to confess it had recently become easier to even _breathe_ with Wonshik around, leave aside any actual activity.

 

          During the following chorus, he sensed Ravi’s hands snaking around his chest, pulling him back a bit and snuggling tightly. Taekwoon inhaled sharply, probably missing the note — but the blame he could easily put on the abruptness of the intimacy.

          Wonshik, his chin prompting Leo’s collarbone through the thin shirt tissue, moved his lips soundlessly simultaneously with the words Leo was singing.

          He gulped a few moments later and lifted his head a bit to be able to perform his rap solo properly; bleached hair brushed Taekwoon's cheekbone for a split second, making him unwillingly inhale the smell of some cocoa shampoo.

          The contact between the two became even closer when they sang a short part together; this time Taekwoon instinctively shifted to the left, his cheek almost leaning on Wonshik's. Then, he couldn't quite contemplate his own actions as he tilted his head, his temple nuzzling into the other’s neck.

          Taekwoon kept playing with no problem even with his head tilted in a weird way until they both somehow lost balance a bit just before his last solo, his right hand forced to grasp Wonshik's elbow in order to not fall back.

          ‘What on earth are you doing?’ Leo was laughing, still not moving his head from a warm angle but rather the opposite — turning a bit so that his eyelashes tickled Ravi’s skin just below the jawline. ‘Eh, Wonshik,’ he whispered, breathing shallowly, ‘Do you know when the others are going to wake up? Or come here?’

          ‘No idea,’ Ravi answered as if there weren't mere millimetres between his neck and Leo’s lips — he could always expect a childish bite, after all.

          None followed, however; Taekwoon only let out a scoff before pulling away, missing the heat of the other body instantly, and stared at Wonshik once again. Out of the blue, he wondered whether _all_ _that_ could have been read in his eyes or not.

          ‘The other song now, maybe?’ Taekwoon offered with a hint of a smile. Ravi let go of him and obediently sat beside anew.

 

          He started playing the melody once again, his shoulder at times touching Leo's. His fingers moved smoothly even though the tiniest bit timidly, the familiar sounds coming one after another.

          Taekwoon joined, his voice nervous and weak at first, with too much air given, more of a sigh once or twice even, just as if he'd been afraid of singing to anyone—or to Ravi in particular—or to pronounce the lyrics as if his own words.

          ‘ _Don't let anyone down, don't let_ him _down’,_ he was about to think, but the flash of thought was interrupted by Wonshik's careful whisper, ‘This is it.’

          Sending a questioning look, Leo continued however, for it seemed due to Ravi's grin that he was doing well. He also liked his singing in such way actually, otherwise he’d stop for sure, angry with himself and trying and trying and trying until it seemed perfect.

          With the change of the rhythm, when Ravi's fingers almost left the keys and the light stumping of his feet started to lead the melody, Taekwoon's voice also altered, becoming more demanding, more audacious. He was looking at the lyrics even though that exact part he had known perfectly; he tried to ignore the thought that he was afraid to look at Ravi. Going through the bridge to the chorus, with each line his voice strengthening before breaking into a helpless ‘ _apa_ ’, and Wonshik's hands freezing for a moment with the last played keys still pushed for some reason.

          ‘Hey, that was great. Really,’ no sooner should the pause have ended than Ravi cut into the song with a remark, his voice… _weak_?

          ‘See, you can be amazing. _This_ is the way it should be done on the record, and I'm serious here.’

          Resisting the smile was helpless, so Taekwoon surrendered to it and muttered a thank you before saying more clearly, ‘Shall we finish it?’

          Wonshik continued reluctantly, concentrated on playing to some extraterrestrial extent, and Leo couldn't help but steal a glance at him, not having even the tiniest clue on how he was even able to sing and follow the lyrics.

 

          Those minutes they had spent there he would cherish, that he could tell for sure, but there was an intention blossoming inside him, to just stop and draw near.

          ‘ _You feel as if your lungs are filled with helium and you're about to rise a few atoms above the floor when he’s around. You've screwed up, oops, sorry, try another day.’_

          Would there be another day or not he couldn't tell, but that exact day was surely a bad one for his contemplate actions. He thought so as he covered Wonshik’s right hand with his palm, drawing attention immediately, and briskly leaned closer, however stopping abruptly a few centimetres far from the startled face.

          ‘Taekwoonie?’

          Leo couldn't read what was there in Ravi’s voice, he just let his stare move down hopelessly from Ravi’s eyes. He could see his eyelashes were shuddering—as he, himself, also was, apparently.

 

          There was a long, virtually an eternal moment for Leo then, when he tried to decide where to move and what to do and how to try to justify himself, but there was no chance for that train of thought to finish its route, as Wonshik reached ahead, placing a kiss at Leo’s lips.

          Something broke inside Taekwoon's lungs with an F-sharp major pitch, but there was no pain, no flinch, nor even a wish to pull away. Instead, he responded to the kiss cautiously, afraid of even breathing at the first moments, yet then becoming more courageous with each passing second of realising all of that had actually been happening, with the wish to _tell_ chanting inside his head. Once he had already thanked someone _up there_ for his ability to explain love of all feelings remarkably easily. Hadn’t his love even been mutual, he believed Wonshik would understand or just ignore the following shameful words—there had once flashed a thought through Leo’s mind of how it probably would have been easier were they in America or Europe or wherever, the idea of his feeling being a ‘disgrace’ taking root.

          ‘I…’ he moved back a bit, his hands instantly cupping Ravi’s face so that he wouldn’t escape. ‘I am in love with you.’

          Wonshik blinked a couple of times before laughing, ‘And how do you want me to live with the fact that now I don’t have an unrequited love to mentally rant about? Ah I know,’ he reached his hand out, with the tips of his fingers barely touching Leo’s lips which he was now staring at. ‘I will have tons of complains about you, and there will be so many that I won’t be able to shut up, I hope you’ll enjoy the chitchat.’

          ‘I’ll enjoy even the most stupid things you have to offer. You make me smile both in the spirit and physically, even now that you probably do not take this one hundred per cent seriously, I am happy just to be here with you alone, sitting closely, and playing the piano, and singing. It is… I love you, I am so screwed,’ it was only such way for Taekwoon to hold all the further words describing how Ravi had made him feel for a few last months.

          Wonshik’s fingers moved aside, his lips instead covering Taekwoon’s once again, now without the slight hint of hesitation or _what if_.

          ‘Being screwed together sucks much less, you know. Almost a year of me trying to lock this up has just finished. Just so,’ he placed another kiss near the corner of the other’s lips. ‘Just that easily. With a few phrases. I’m about to have a cognitive dissonance now,’ he said in a matter of fact tone, finally looking Leo in the eye. ‘I believe it’s obvious I’ve loved you for a while now. Oh I can’t stand the irony of us confessing after you singing that song. I think I’ll really have a mental breakdown soon,’ he laughed, his hand still caressing Leo’s cheek.

          Suddenly Taekwoon moved ahead, nuzzling into the corner between Wonshik’s shoulder and neck the second time that morning, inhaling the odour of the shower gel and deodorant and probably some coffee. ‘You just make me so happy I feel it easier to exist.’

          ‘I see you want to drive me nuts now…’ he hugged Leo tightly, resting his head on the broaden shoulder. ‘Let’s just stay like that. I will too become a bit happier, you know.’

          He took the movement of Taekwoon’s hands clasping him as an answer.


End file.
